Mel gets a Spray Tan

Yesterday I had my first spray tan. Although this might not seem like an interesting topic to write about, I learned something from my experience.
My roommate talked me into this crazy idea, and at first I will say, I did not want to do this. What if I come out looking like an ompa-lumpa? Dozens of sinerios passed through my head as I was debating whether or not to do this. What if the sprayer is clogged and it comes out in big puffs of orange mist? What if I forget the steps and I tan one side more than the other? What if I slip and fall and as a result come out with only a tan bottom? After some thought to this, I decide, what the heck, I might as well try it! And if something does go wrong, I won't be leaving my apartment for four to six weeks, no biggie!
The day finally arrived, and my roommate thought it to be a good idea to show me a "how to" video. I am not sure if this made things worse, but it was pretty intense. Do this position, turn and do this position, then this one, and then that one...then there is the drying! How on earth will I rememeber all this! It was too late now, we already had appointments, and I was determinded to swallow my fear of looking like the dark haired version of Tara Reid.
Once we arrived, I was really starting to get nervous. Really over a spray tan?? Well, nevertheless, I wasn't feeling to confident. We walk in, and of course there is the typical tan female behind the counter. We both decided to get what they like to call the "cocktail". Sounds interesting right? Well it was. First you tan, then you get your spray tan. Once the tanning part of over (in which I am a pro) I was ready for my spray tan. The female tan worker takes my roommate and I back to the spray chamber, as I like to call it. No turning back now! She steps in and shows us the positions that we are to do when in there. I ask her where the panic button is, and tell my roommate to STAND BY! This could get ugly. After they leave, it is just me and the spray machine. I kept thinking, I can do this, I can do this. First shower cap, second apply the lotion to your hands and feet so as not to get those tan.
It was time to puch the start button, and I started having anxiety. Thousands of people get spray tans everyday, so why was I having such a hard time? Well, despite my better judgment, I pushed the start bottom and held my breath. It started spraying my first side, and had it not been so disturbingly cold, I think I would have been alright, but I made a face. The worst possible thing you could do during a spray tan. Oh the lines that will be on my face!!! I start to panic, what is the next step! Crap what do I do?? What side do I do first? How are my hands suppose to be? Well for the next three min, I just decided to wing it. Boy did I pay the price for that four to six hours later.
Not only was it cold, but the dryer didn't do much drying. I wanted to just remain naked and walk out. I mean, couldn't putting on clothes make it all blotchy? I dressed and went outside where my roommate was waiting, "You didn't even scream!" She said. Little did she know, the horrible look on my face as my forehead started to get sprayed. Great, all I needed was squint tanning lines by my eyes!
Well, after all was said and done, we went home to wait and see how dark we would become. Hour after hour I could see the color starting.
I don't think it looks dreadful, but my hands are orange, my feet orange, I have awesome tan lines on my arms, and a few on my face.
I guess its exciting to try something new, even if it is just a spray tan, but lessons I learn are as follows: 1. never make a face while getting a spray tan 2. always make sure to NOT face your palms to the sprayer, 3. Don't put hair cap half on your ears and half off. and finally 4. Never under any circumstances inhale deeply while getting a spray tan I am pretty sure I lost a few brain cells, and I don't know about you, but I can't spare them.
Will I ever get another spray tan? Maybe...but with these important lessons learned, I will come out looking more like a tanning bed model, rather than a jersey shore actor.